Conversing with Mother

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Cleansing
No one knows this more
Than the gracious soul I faithfully adore

Although I am rife with despair
I gladly seek, the words she crafts with care
Casting out, the talk of the day
I remain bound to stillness
Longing for her stay

Torn are we
Stern in our silence
With minds teetering, above turmoil and violence

Torn are we
To our fateful ends
As this treacherous voyage sways and bends

Now we must speak
With voices no longer frail or weak
Treasuring the warmth of our cackling bond
I grow in stature, with each word carefully spawned

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Our Quivering Land

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There were laced fingers
Misty eyes and trembling peril
Figures dashed away, from the roaring plume
Incessant ringing
Incessant ringing

The quivering lands were scarred
Jagged cracks that mesh and align
Forging a deathly labyrinth
Leaving no choice but to abide

But there remained laced fingers
Misty eyes and swaying silhouettes
Each one alone, barks their inner suffering
Incessant wailing
Incessant wailing

Our saviors in salvos
Embrace the whirling mayhem
Piercing the harrowing curtains of black
Prying out those battered and scathe
One grateful soul after the next

And there were laced fingers
Fighting to salvage serenity that was
An oath of kin, now reigns over our days
Incessant cheering
Incessant fearing

Unveiled Relief

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She is the water
That so carefully evades my haunted form
As torrents of anguish, that are sent left and right
Birthing a hate spawn, of searing frustration
A ghoulish reverie
Taken from me, in each troubled place I occur

How she reels me in
Unraveling my hide
Each boastful claim dissipating
Slowly perishing, one after the next

Each seedy verse flees!
As I purge my hefty and tainted conscience
More and more, until i flounder scrawny and wretched
Sinfully fuming, so hideously exposed

“Take them from me,
Oh maiden of revelation
Your harsh unveiling, is my true moment of glory
How I shine through your masterful cruelty
Beckoning, as my pride rots and shrivels
Lingering for just a little more”

Withdraw

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Scarce draws of affection
They come and go
In secrecy and welded to silence

Dead end yearnings
Slash away at me and disperse
Leaving me to weep and reel
Trembling as I slowly crumble and sob

The torment of longing
Fades, and then lashes!
Receding only to jolt forth
Shoving at my mournful ailing facade

Swift stints of hunger
Maddeningly occur and dissipate
Bred within my iron shackles
Confined to the love I had always known

“Don’t avert from me”
“Don’t defer your tenderness”
“Stay the course
Disavowing the need, to fold and withdraw”

Battle of the Century

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I once knew nothing of farewell
Far from the burdens of heaven or hell
All worldly ills, were quietly brushed aside
And I never shivered, never hungry or tried

Weightless days were spawned with delight
Fawned for and adored, with turmoil out of sight
These hours of content, were fleeting and aimless
Marred by suffering, it’s calling blameless

I sprang for motherhood, thrashing and shrill
Drugged by heartache, the fault of its looming hill
I screeched and howled until the winds fled
Until my lungs, were silent with dread

But mother remained, gallantly still
The light of her life was nowhere near its fill
Muttered pleading became fervent toil
The likes of which no enemies could foil

This trial is waning
Perseverance is gaining
In solemn reverence, of our martyred sunlight

The rugged is now ailing
All mayhem is flailing
Crumbling and docile, subjects of the current

And so she remained
Smoothed and perfected by the valor she’s gained
But there are remnants, on her war ravaged skin
Bearing each scar, cradling her iron grin

I once believed, only in farewell
Consumed in reveries of heaven  or hell
All worldly ills were greater inside
But she did not waver, never hungry or tried

All the way back in May of 2003, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. I remember it was the week before i went to sixth grade camp when my mother told me what was going on. That day i remember crying my eyes out, because i thought my mother was going to die. This was probably the hardest i had cried in a while, and the closest i ever came to crying like that again was the night my first girlfriend dumped me. It still doesn’t compare. I watched my mother suffer and persevere through her weakness. I just wish i had her strength at the time. My grades were plummeting, i got bullied and beat up every day, i faked sick from school constantly, and i did a lot of things i should not have been doing. I feel like i added to her hardship, and i feel really guilty. My mother’s cancer is gone, but the memories will always stay with me. Im just glad she survived.

Passing Harmony

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Savor your harmonies for they don’t always last
Ground to a pulp and defiled by the past

Scattered melodies don’t always remain
Shrouded in misery, the ethics of pain

To suffer in fades out, the passing of kin
Causes your mind to spiral, dance and spin

A wreckage of thought
Leave masses silent and distraught

When angst riddled drones are born
Fire bred, as stewards of scorn

Blood lusting youths, they shriek with delight!
Blinded by chorus, for a cause of fiendish spite

So burden yourselves with dismay
For your favored verses, simply cannot stay

Soaring Heroines

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Green canopies were pouring light
Cascading into the hissing darkness
Our heroines prevailed
Ascending to their luminous call
Graced the sky
And wailed their earthly grief

Upon arrival
They all crooned with anguish
Speaking ill of iron matriarchs
With blistering tears,
Drawn for shackled sisterhood

These towering heroines
Professors of awakening
Slayed the oppressive toil of millions
And provoked a grander exodus
The liberation of droves to swiftly follow

These colossal maidens
Unify, the stray and staggering hungry
For those accustomed to lingering emptiness
For those accustomed to the burden of loneliness

Motionless Tranquility

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Time is to be savored
Accented, with sparse pinches of joy
And served,
Upon the gilded platter of your choosing

I became, a stranger among the elements
Serenaded by a host of wailing goslings
With rosebud fragrances, wafting around and above

How I crave to remain motionless
As a prisoner, exiled to natural comforts
To be held, by the ruggedness we have long forgotten
Far gone and taken by the pillars of our time

Every mile I journey lives!
Every cherished inch,
Beats with the same longing to remain

Through the trails I carve
That aimlessly wander and stray
I crumble, assured
Unshackled for the moment
I let this age slip away